May 2004 Archives

I currently have two bumper stickers on my car. One says, "A man of quality is not threatened by a woman seeking equality" and the other says, "A woman without a man is like a fish without a bicycle." Yes these are feminist stickers, but I don't think they are offensive or put down men. Otherwise I would not have them on my car.

Well, I was at a stop light today and a van with two 20-something guys pulls up behind me. I can see in my rear-view mirror that they are reading the stickers. The driver shakes his head and mouths/yells "F--K you!" At the next light, they pass me as I'm sitting in the left turn lane. The driver flips me the bird as they whiz by.

Now, his behavior should not upset me as much as it has. Obviously he is immature and I should just write it off as that. But it does upset me. I guess mostly because it feels unjust. I didn't do anything to deserve that kind of treatment. I didn't call anybody names. I didn't swear. I didn't say all men are stinky boys with cooties and we'd be better off without them. My stickers simply state that feminism really isn't threatening to men and that the notion that a woman must marry, or needs a man to be complete is bogus.

I guess is this why most people don't put bumper stickers on their car. It's stepping up, making a stand on an issue/topic you believe in. Something that makes you stand out from the crowd. And instead of embracing folks strong enough to stand up for what they believe in, we live in a culture where it's more acceptable to knock those folks down. The cynic in me says it's because what people are usually speaking up about is not what you see on your TV. And if it isn't a view expressed by the mass media, well then it just ain't American, is it?

I found this over at Jen's blog. I love these kind of lists that make the rounds. And I love them even more when you can do it on your blog instead of emailing it to 10 of your closest friends.

10 bands you have been listening to a lot lately:
The Replacements
Train
Elvis Costello
R.E.M.
Bare Naked Ladies
Indigo Girls
Sixpense None the Richer
Mighty Mighty Bosstones
The Cure
Creed

9 things you look forward to:
My trip to CT
Seeing my brother graduate college
Holding my niece for the first time
Having time to read
Falling into my bed
Visiting the Met & the Cloisters in NYC
Sierra Club backpacking trip in Yosemite
Cooking Thanksgiving dinner for my friends
Clean Sheets Day

8 things you like to wear:
Lands End All Weather Mocs
Cheval Theatre t-shirt
Toe ring
Cardigans
PJ pants
Flannel bathrobe
Purple flowered hat
Zip-up hooded sweatshirt

7 things that annoy you:
Stupid people
Kitty litter on bare feet
Kitty litter in bed
Crumbs on the counter
Rising gas prices
Intolerence
People who don't take responsiblity

6 things you say most days:
"Hello"
"Sure thing"
"What is it, Freesia"
"Exactly"
"Cool"
"Umm"

5 things you do every day:
Drink OJ for breakfast
Talk to Freesia
Talk with Erik
Moisterize
Wish I could have slept longer

4 people you want to spend more time with:
Cathie
Jonathan
Mags
Tim

3 movies you could watch over and over again:
The English Patient
Alice in Wonderland
The Princess Bride

2 of your favorite songs at the moment:
"There She Goes" by Sixpense None the Richer
"Merry-Go-Round" by The Replacements

1 person you could spend the rest of your life with:
Myself

This is cute. A mathematical proof that girls are evil.

Added May 21, 2004

Bev Mazur posted a link to the proof why men are more evil than girls.

Gas prices have been so obscene lately and it doesn't look like they are getting any better. Something in me just refuses to pay $2.30 a gallon.

I learned of a nifty little site today: Gas Buddy.com. Once you pick your area, you have a custom homepage. Mine is for Oakland.

It lists out the top cheapest stations as well as the most expensive stations in your area. I'm not sure how reliable the information is yet. They do have the Safeway over in Dublin listed as a cheapie place and they usually are the best in this neighborhood.

I really need to get my bike lubed and to start riding it to work. Who knows... what I save in gas for a month may cover the price of using the showers at work.

Kurt Vonnegut wrote a wonderful essay for In These Times called Cold Turkey.

Read it. Now. All of it.

A friend and I went to Ikea this weekend to find him a bed frame. He came home with nothing and I came home with a present for my mother, two picture frames, a cat painting, and a media storage TV unit-thingy. And I wonder how it is that I have enough crap to fill a two-bedroom apartment.

We put together the media unit on Sunday. It's just particleboard with a birch veneer, but the color is light enough to go with the rest of the furniture in the living room. It has clean lines and should be big enough for all my stuff. And it has cute little doors with really cool hinges. It's so neat the way they fit together. Those engineers are SO clever. It was a bit of a trick putting it together since there were no instructions included in the box. But a quick call to Ikea customer service remedied that as they emailed them to me.

Tonight I'm going to finally unpack the last of the moving boxes - the ones with my DVDs and VHS tapes. I also need to move my little bookcase of cookbooks into the back corner and put my very old stereo in the new unit. Though I must say, my little old 19-inch TV looks very lost on the top of the shelves. But a new TV is not in my future. That will be up to Santa Elf.

I really want to take photos of the place and post them here so everyone can see how it's shaped up. But alas I did not get to keep the digital camera. Add that to the list of things I still need to replace before Christmas.

I really like my new apartment. I think it's shaped up quite nicely. It feels cozy and safe and homey, which is exactly what I wanted. And what I need.

I had a bit of an adventure on my way home from work today. I pulled out of the PeopleSoft parking lot and heard a strange flapping sound coming from the back of my car. I pulled into the parking lot at the next office building and sure enough, my rear tire was completely flat. As in riding on the rim. No air at all. Flat.

Now, I never took auto shop in high school, but our Girl Scout troop did all earn the Auto Maintenance badge. So I had a vague idea of what I was suppose to do. The only other time I've ever had a flat tire was when my brother and I were headed to the WOMAD concert in Albany, NY in 1994. We were driving my grandmother's old Chevy Malibu and the tire blew out on the highway just miles from our house. Was completely shredded in the middle. My brother was the one that changed the tire though.

Armed with my car's owner manual and a quick call to Erik, I got out the spare tire and jack. I was able to get three of the four lugnuts loosened, but the top one just would not move. Lucky for me, a very kind man named Jay was walking to his car and saw me. He was able to get the last nut off and changed the whole tire for me. Thanks again Jay!

I'm very grateful to Jay for helping me with the tire. I'm not sure that I could have gotten that last nut off without help. But I'm pretty sure that I could have done the rest by myself. Seeing how I was wearing one of my good dresses, it was nice not to have to get down on the ground. But at the same time I couldn't help but feel like the typical weak female, needing a man to rescue her. Part of me wishes that Jay hadn't come by, so I could prove to myself (and anyone watching) that I am self-reliant and capable of dealing with things that come my way. It's nice to know that you can depend upon yourself when the rubber hits the road.

Oh, and as of a hour ago, I am now a card carrying member of AAA.

I was lucky enough to spend a fair bit of time in the woods this weekend. I had a great time in the high sierras. I went hiking in the forest, and spent time just sitting by two rivers, soaking in the sound of the water, the cool breeze, and warm sunshine.

Something in particular struck me on this trip. I've known for a while that getting outdoors, away from the hustle and bustle of modern life, rejuvenates me. But I haven't been able to put my finger on why. As I sat by one of the rivers, it occurred to me. (Well, one of the reasons. I'm sure there are many.) This may seem overly simplistic, or obvious to some folks. But it really struck a cord with me.

I was watching the trees, the way the branches swayed in the breeze, the currents in the water, the grasses as they shook in the waves. And I realized this is all that they have to do. The trees are doing what it is they are supposed to be doing. The river is doing what it does. These things just have to BE. The river just has to flow; the trees just have to stand. It really is this simple.

There's no stress here. No busyness for busyness sake. It doesn't matter here if there are traffic jams or saving money at the grocery store or if the website is up or down. How much of my life is artificial constructs by humans? My life seems like a tempest in a teapot in comparison. Life seems so complex and overwhelming and upsetting and stressful because I buy into the notion that all the elements of "modern life" are absolutes and requirements. How much of that whirlwind do I make myself? I CHOOSE to let these things bother me, upset me, shape my mood, and my outlook.

But what if I chose differently? What if I really, honestly, let go of the shit that is whirling around me and just stayed in the moment? Kept it back at basics. Can I live my life as a tree? Just being who I am. Rooted to the earth, yet able to bend with storms that come my way. Not apologizing for who and what I am. Just be.

What a wonderful thought and a beautiful way to live one's life.