Anyone who denies that is a fool. We all come with baggage. With hurts and scars from our past. I think it's the human condition to only be able to see from your own perspective. How can you really feel/think/know what another is feeling and thinking? You can't. You can only guess based upon what they share with you, and what you can project and imagine. And all too often you are wrong. In your efforts to love and support and care for, you can be deaf to what the other is saying; blind to what they are doing.
I don't know what the answer to this is. I don't know that there is an answer. It's a neverending dance, of forward and back, trial and error, as two beings try to relate to each other. Sometimes it works like clockwork. Sometimes the messages get lost in the mail. You give apples when the other wants oranges. And don't see how happy and thankful they are with the kiwis, for the kiwis are so abundant for you and cost you nothing.
But I can say what a blessing it is to have someone who is as determined as you to break through the fog and connect. Someone who is present and invested and willing to try new steps in the dance. Someone who isn't going to hide, to run away when your personal demons rear their ugly heads. Someone who will point out what isn't working, and help to find a resolution.
I am blessed.