This is Part of the Problem

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For the second time today, I've come across this attitude:

rosesarered.png

Noirbettie pointed on her blog to a new Miley Cyrus recording, of Dolly Parton's Jolene, which expresses a simular sentiment. (Not that I think Noirbettie shares this view, she just pointed to the song.)

Both the card and the song put forth the idea that a man can be stolen from one woman by another. While the situation of one lover leaving the other is common, it's the idea that the man is an object that can be stolen that I object to. It reduces him to a vessel that is powerless and decision-less to remain faithful to his original love.

I call bullshit! It takes two to tango and a man isn't going to stray unless he wants to. This outdated idea that a woman needs to "hang on to" her man otherwise he'll wander off with the next pretty skirt is ridiculous. It reduces his autonomy in making his own decisions. This goes hand-in-hand with other misogynistic beliefs of the patriarchy. It is right there with the myth of the incompetent male.

These are sexist stereotypes and as long as they still abound in this culture we will never have true gender equality and shit like this will continue to happen: man sets his girlfriend on fire. That's right. This happened in SAN FRANCISCO! Not Pakistan or Afghanistan or some other place where honor killings and acid attacks are sadly common. Sexist stereotypes reenforce gender inequalities, which breeds environments where violence against women happens.

ETA: Originally I stated that Cyrus was the author of Jolene. Zitacita was kind enough to set the record straight.

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